Missing Time

This isn’t the first time this has happened. Not that it happens frequently, but it does occur regularly – sometimes in tight bunches tied to a particularly tumultuous period in my life. Thing is, despite “blacking out”, I don’t end up slurring and stumbling about, which makes it difficult for the people around me to tell that I’m no longer at home and that they’re talking to “the Other Guy”. Whatever you say to him, I will have no memory of it when I wake up the next day. One particular previous partner got so frustrated by this dissociative fugue that she complained this “Jack & Tyler schtick” was getting pretty old, pretty quick.

Other Guy tends to take over in situations where social norms would prevent Waking Me from doing something – particularly the use of physical force or Strong Magics. One time in particular I was ‘tricked’ into invoking Anansi on the way into a nightclub. I have no memory of the hijinks I got up to in there, allegedly having a heated argument with myself in a full-length mirror wall being just one event related to me the next day. I vaguely remember actually flying through the air face-up as the bouncers ejected me through the back door, little snapshots stud my memory of handing out buds of super-strong skunk to the people milling around outside, getting a pavement party started.

I don’t recall the group of us journeying back to one of their flats, lighting a cigarette the wrong way around and smoking the whole filter before nubbing it out. Neither do I recall getting up in the wee hours of the pre-dawn morn and standing in the hall facing the front door. One of the group woke up and followed me out to see what I was doing, I reassured them that everything was fine and to go back to bed. To my waking brain, this was clearly me thanking my interloper for their visit and asking politely that they now leave.

A useful skill, by all accounts, if only I could consciously control it. Then again, maybe the skill is His, not mine.

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One Response to “Missing Time”

  1. Medication | mixmage Says:

    […] not to say that the aberrant states have been completely cured, but they are now confined to the very extremes of my being. Getting […]

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