Mania

Since I’m in a manic upswing right now, I thought I’d take this opportunity to write a bit about how mania manifests – at least in my case, but from listening to others describe their experiences at the manic pole, I feel pretty sure that at least some of these symptoms will apply to most bipolar people.

In full flow mania is a lot like drugs: there are mad rushes; feeling immortal, bulletproof, chosen. It’s as if the whole Universe is a Great and Secret Show and it’s all for YOU. Everything is heavy with meaning: every caw from a crow, every blast from a car horn, every song on the radio, every license plate on every vehicle, it’s all intended and it’s aimed right at you, right now.

The TV people are trying to get a message to you. Opening a random comic at the comic store can deliver your Mission Update. Books are only there to be randomly flipped through – wherever your finger lands is what the Cosmos needs you to know in this precious perfect moment.

I find there’s a lot of crossover between the thoughts, mentality and practices of a manic and those who consider themselves to be Magicians, Sorcerers or Spirit Workers: Rampant animism, meaning that even the lanscape can be communicating to you, the landwights speaking to you in their language of image and symbol; Spirits of ancestors and the Deities of your traditions immanent.

Needless to say, being manic (or high) can often be turned to great acts of Magic. The Flow, the current of the Universe is palpable and you can ride it like the swell of the ocean, the snowy curves of a mountain, the breezes that comprise the very Breath of Destiny. You don’t need to think, to second guess, you are always in the right place at the right time. A piece of worldly detritus becomes a sacred artefact simply because it wound up in that place at that time, the space-time coordinates that the Norns pushed you to.

The Gods and Allies speak to you and through you. I have faced them down and demanded my rightful due; brokered oaths and promises, words and deeds from those inhabiting the invisible realms that pervade and permeate our material world… because it’s only here in the world of space-time and matter-energy that the Outcomes of their plans come to fruition, and I can blight their harvest with the pure exertion of my will. I am Hailstorm on a summer’s day.

Unfortunately I am also a peeled and pulsing nerve. Suspicion and paranoia creeping in at the edges. If someone disagrees with me (especially on the internet, where I can’t see them) then a simple disagreement takes on the aspect of a vendetta. It gnaws and pecks at my mind, circling round and back, inescapable and venomous.

Best to get out into Nature, breathe deeply of the fresh air, commune with the Land and Sky, wait it out. You never can tell where it will lead you.

Ha! This just happens to be Post 23. Get ya mania round that one!

 

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