Posts Tagged ‘Ativan’

Just Another Manic Sunday

October 26, 2014

I had a bout of depression last week, it’s been on and off since then. Yesterday was another culmination, I couldn’t pull myself together to perform even simple tasks – let alone change the dressings on my eldest son’s arm after he’d slid and fallen from his bike in the rain. I felt like crying, like my head was stuffed with cotton, like sacking the whole day off and staying in bed (not possible; needed to look after youngest son). In the end I took some meds and had a bit of a lie down until they kicked in.

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This Is A Low

October 13, 2014

Feels like treading water fully clothed; all that waterlogged weight pulling you down and your heart gripped with the fearful certainty that you’re going under, knowing there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

Since the recent episode, I’ve not been particularly well. Compared to how I was ┬áthree weeks ago, the difference is quite marked: lack of resilience, tiny things magnified to unmanageable size, circling intrusive thoughts mobbing and ravaging my mind like swirling crows, simple problems turned into Herculean tasks, all bound up in that pervasive sinking feeling.

It’s affecting my ability to work, overshadowing my interactions and relationships, accompanied by a feeling of fragility – that I might crack at any moment, the slightest knock reducing me to tears.

Perhaps I need to start carrying Lorazepam (Ativan), just in case. This is the first time I’ve ever felt that way.